


i'll be loving you always

by littlelooneyluna



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Established Relationship, Feelings, Fluff, M/M, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 12:17:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11463432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelooneyluna/pseuds/littlelooneyluna
Summary: after a row, robert discovers something which reminds him of how much aaron has always loved him.





	i'll be loving you always

**Author's Note:**

> WE NEED THIS FLUFF TO PREPARE US FOR TOMORROW

 

It starts with a fight, well a row really, over absolutely nothing and everything at the same time.

They'd been in the pub, Robert had been a bit handsy after having too many and Aaron hadn't been in the mood for it. But they'd caught Leyla's attention and it didn't take long for the teasing to begin.

"Oh look at ya both." Leyla had said, a smile on her face as she watched Robert smile even wider, genuinely just happy to be sitting in the pub with his husband, hand firmly on the younger man's thigh. "You look so loved up." She said, her eyes almost softening.

Robert attempted to kiss at Aaron's jaw but the younger man pulled away, sprouted an excuse about Robert having too many as he pulled a hand through his sweaty hair and admired the way he had rolled up his blue shirt.

Robert frowned, it made him feel weird inside but Leyla hardly noticed the dismissive way Aaron had just behaved. Instead she just smiled again, maybe tipsy herself.

"I mean - that's _love_ isn't it?" She said, watching Robert look up still almost adoringly at his husband.

"Well we are aren't we?" Robert tilted his head up towards Aaron. "In _love_?" He said softly, watched Aaron look down towards his pint like he hasn't even heard.

Robert gulped, felt himself start to sober up as the silence dragged on. "I love him." He said, almost to himself before he was getting up and practically running out the pub.

Now he is in the kitchen, attempting to twist open a bottle of whiskey or gin or anything else brown he finds in the bottom cupboard. He doesn't know where Aaron is, didn't look back as he stormed out feeling like someone had just slapped him round the face, like his _husband_ had just slapped him round the face.

The door slams and Robert wills himself not to look up, not to even pay attention to him at all.

"Why'd you run off like that?" It's Aaron's voice, he sounds worried, almost a little confused. 

Then he steps forward and comes closer towards where Robert is standing, where he is finally slamming a glass down and necking back whatever it is he opened. It's scotch he thinks. It burns his throat, makes him shake his head involuntarily.

"Robert?" Aaron gulps hard, doesn't want to do this, doesn't want to have an argument.

"I'm going to bed." Robert snaps, steps forward and attempts to swiftly pick up the bottle before moving towards the stairs. He misses and the bottle shatters across the floor making him swear.

"Let me do that." Aaron's voice is too kind, to gentle and Robert backs away.

"Go away." Robert says, "Go back to the pub or -"

Aaron blinks, suddenly holds Robert's arm and sees just how upset he is. "Rob? What's wrong with ya?"

Robert straightens his back, "Me?" His eyes widen. "It's you with the issue, I mean - God it's so clear you don't even _like_ me let alone _love_ me eh?"

Aaron's eyes widen then, his heart hammers in his chest and he has to shake his head. "Robert don't be stupid."

Robert scoffs. "Just admit it. I mean - it's true isn't it? You couldn't _bare_ saying you loved your own husband in the pub just then?" It's scary, how quickly his eyes become wet. "Because you _don't_."

Aaron sighs. "Look just because I don't say it every five seconds doesn't mean that I don't." He snaps, knows where this is heading already. "Stop being so ridiculous."

That burns, it stings and Robert feels like a little boy. "Do you not even care how I feel?" He thought Aaron did, he thought they'd finally worked everything out, he thought they were _sorted_ for life now.

Aaron pinches his nose, wants to take his words back. "I'm sorry if I embarrassed ya." He says, knows that he should have said something in the pub but he still isn't good at being so overly affectionate and honest like that.

"You didn't _embarrass_ me. You hurt me. I embarrassed _you_ though didn't I?" Robert blinks, gulps and tries to stop feeling so upset.

Aaron bites his lip, "Rob you know I'm not good at - _feelings_ and saying that stuff." He says, lowers his head.

"And I'm the expert?" Robert retaliates. "I think you're forgetting the closet case I was when we first met. I think you're forgetting everything I did just so I didn't have to tell you I was in love with you."

Aaron hasn't, he knows that just sitting in a pub saying he loves his husband is a lot for Robert, is more than he ever thought possible. "I know, look Robert I'm sorry." He tries, doesn't know if it will work as Robert stands there still looking bruised by the words. "You know how I feel. You always have done."

Robert's chin wobbles. "I've always guessed." He says, voice hollow, void of love and passion. "Never been certain."

Aaron's hand is shaking, "Where - where is this coming from?" He's scared suddenly, doesn't want Robert to feel like this. "Robert you know I love you." He comes forward, dodges the shards of glass and then holds Robert by the arms, shakes him a little. "You know."

Robert forces his head up and looks at Aaron's eyes, wide and scared and filled with worry. "Say it then. It should be easy. It should be really easy after all this time."

Aaron's mouth falls open, he leans forward and then he's crouching back into himself as he smells the alcohol on Robert's breath. It takes him back, takes him right back and he's suddenly needing a moment and moving away.

The next thing he knows Robert is charging past him, storming up the stairs and he's standing in the kitchen wishing he'd just _said it_.

Robert falls on the bed, can't tell if he's being dramatic or not as he starts to cry into his pillow. It's awful, the feeling inside, because it festers and he's doubting everything because Aaron can't even say he loves him anymore and he was sure they were _solid_. He was so certain up until a few hours ago. 

Robert has a hand in his pocket, digs out his phone and scrolls through the messages from Aaron.

**You:**

_'I love you, see you tonight. Xx'_

**Aaron:**

_'You too, can't wait. X'  
_

It stings. It's another example isn't it? He just can't say it back, and Robert can't do that anymore. He can't live like that.

He rolls over, decides to charge his phone and then drops the charger on the floor. Wandering hands attempt to pick it up and then he's fishing under the bed, meeting something hard and square and then he's pulling it out.

It's dusty, had been buried under things maybe, and it has a brown leather front which has worn away a little.

He knows it's not his, can't think of it as Aaron's either as he opens it up and realises it's a diary of some sort.

There's a tally drawn down the pages, and then another one and another one.

There's big bold letters: **I LOVE YOU** plastered on crinkled pages.

Robert raises an eyebrow, confusion running through him as he reads and then sights Aaron's messy handwriting, it's sprawled out across the page and it says:

_'I love you, I love you Robert.'_

Robert's heart bursts.

He tries hard to catch his breath and fails over and over again, a hand comes up over his mouth and he feels like he's floating or something.

His eyes catch sight of dates.

2015, the year of Hell. The year where he captured Aaron's heart, kissed it and then destroyed it completely.

There were so many confessions around April time, where Robert was a dick, a massive ridiculous dick.

Robert turns the page over and is overwhelmed by how many appear as he recognises the year - 2016.

When everything was hard and sad and tense between them, when Aaron pushed Robert away countless times, told him to go away, told him he didn't have space in his head to think about him.

He still loved him though. He'd still right it down.

Robert feels a tear roll down his face and he sniffs quietly before hugging the book and shaking his head.

"It was always easier doing that."

There's a voice by the door and when he turns Aaron's standing there, he's got tears in his eyes and his green jumper is being pulled up over his arms.

"Couldn't tell you how I felt, so I wrote it down." Aaron comes closer, steps into the room and then kneels by Robert who is sitting on the bed.

"You've always loved me?" It's ridiculous, Robert should know but he doesn't, not really.

Aaron nods his head, starts rubbing over Robert's knees with his palm. " _Yes_." He whispers, "It's always been hard though, letting you know so I wanted to remind myself of how much I did."

Robert shudders and there's a small smile on his face. "That's the sweetest thing -" He's almost blushing as he speaks and Aaron buries his head in Robert's knee to avoid the softness.

Robert has a hand on Aaron's fluffy hair and he kisses at his curls. "I had no idea." He whispers, "I didn't know you still loved me when - you know, during the whole trial."

Aaron raises his head, sniffs. "More than I wanted to admit." He remembers how it was, how Robert was just this guiding light throughout such a darkness. He touches Robert's face and sighs. "I didn't say it just now because - I smelt scotch on you."

Robert shuts his eyes. He wants to hit himself.

He knows what that means, he knows that the smell reminds his husband of those nights where his bedroom door would creep open and he'd hide from -

"I'm so sorry." Robert blurts out, has a hand on Aaron's chest and shakes his head. "Fuck, I'm sorry." He says again but Aaron's kissing his hand and shaking his head.

"Don't be daft." Aaron whispers before standing up and sitting next to his husband on the bed. "Robert, look at me." Robert does, slowly and then all at once. "I love you."

It's heavy in the air and then it melts, finds its way into Robert's heart and _stays_.

Aaron has a shaky hand over Robert's. "I _always_ have, I _always_ will be in love with you."

That makes Robert smile, there's something so much more in the way he adds 'in love'.

"I'm sorry for not telling you enough, not letting you know enough." Aaron darts his head down. "I'm still working on it. But I'm not ashamed or anything like that okay?" He wasn't ashamed just then in the pub, he was just - not used to it, wants to be. He wants to snog Robert's face off and shout how much he loves him but he's scared, that actually scares him a little. But he knows he doesn't have to be, he knows that his husband is his husband and he'll always be there to help him.

"Okay." Robert sniffs before looking at Aaron, at his blue eyes that shine almost like crystals in the moonlight. "I love you too." He whispers, before he falls into Aaron and kisses him sloppily on the lips.

Aaron pulls away, looks at the book that Robert still holds near him. "That's so embarrassing." He reddens. "You were _never_ supposed to find that."

Robert smirks, has a hand on Aaron's jumper. "Why not?" He says, "And why did you keep it?"

Aaron bites his lip, he remembers thinking about chucking it when they moved into the mill because he never wrote in it anymore. "Whenever you're a pillock, it reminds me of how much I love ya really." He shrugs flippantly but Robert knows that it means more than that. 

"Good." Robert mumbles before pulling at Aaron's jeans and smiling up at him. "Love you." He says again. "You know I say it because I _mean_ it every time, it's not a throw away thing for me." He's suddenly serious and Aaron nods his head, he believes that.

"I know." Aaron whispers before kissing Robert and pulling off his husband's shirt with ease.

Robert's on his back, Aaron's over him and his heart still races like it's their first night with each other, after all this time.

"Come on then Mr. Sugden, show me just how much those tallies really mean." Robert huffs out, winking and then Aaron's rolling his eyes and knowing just how to shut up his cocky bastard of a husband.

 


End file.
